Ignorance is bliss

There is a fine line between amusement and bemusement, but I have come to find that loads of Americans have led me to cross it without much difficulty. I am referring to the many, many times that people here have asked me about the world outside their Yankee periphery, and have made such astounding comments that I have to check if they are being serious or not. Unfortunately, nine times out of ten, the comment or question is genuine, rather than satirical.

Side note: In case anyone reading this is American, to call someone a ‘Yankee’ has nothing to do with the North – a Yank to anyone outside of the US means simply ‘an American’ – kind of in the same way that Mexicans and other Central Americans call anyone who is white a gringo whether they are from the US or not. When I was in Guatemala, all the locals would call me gringa as though it was my name, and I would point out that I was in fact Ingles – this made no difference to them, I was still a little white gringa, and you Americans are all Yanks as far as we are concerned! I realize this is a little ironic as the point of this post is about people being ignorant of other cultures but it’s my blog, so artistic license bends in my favour. Ha.

Anyway, I am asked on a fairly regular basis, questions about the UK, Britain, Great Britain, and England (which no-one seems to be able to quite identify or understand the differences between) and about how life differs over there in comparison to America. Here are some examples of questions I have genuinely been asked, or that have been asked of one of my friends, while in America.

·         What language do you speak in England?

·         Do y’all speak French over there?

·         Do you speak British or English?

·         Are you from British? (Really?!)

·         How long does it take to cross the water from Britain into Scotland?

·         Is Wales a city?

·         You’re from London? Oh, do you know my wife’s/nephew’s/uncle’s family in Manchester – the Joneses?

·         You’re from London? My roommate’s from London, an area called Yorkshire. (I told this man the difference between London and Yorkshire to which he replied, ‘well I meant England when I said London, it’s kind of the same thing right?’)

·         Do y’all have ice over there? (Frozen water? – yep, mastered that one. Clearly hadn’t been to visit us in the winter!)

·         (Asked of my German friend) Do you have TV in Germany? Is it in colour?

·         What clothes do you wear in England? (They thought we dressed like the characters from a Jane Austen film)

·         Are you Russian?! (Have genuinely been asked this on three separate occasions)

·         You don’t speak very good English do you? (That was to Josh)

·         Do you know the Queen?

·         Which state is London in?

·         You’re British? So that’s Canadian right?

·         You’re from the UK? The University of Kentucky? (I wish I was joking)
·         What do you do for light? (Asked of Ian - apparently electricity hasn't made it to Europe yet)

I could go on but I won’t because 1) I sound like a hater and 2) I can’t think of any more examples for now. I have been told on a few occasions how nice my teeth are for a British person (apparently we all have grey, rotten teeth according to American stereotype) to which I always sweetly reply, ‘thank you , I had braces and they were free thanks to the NHS’ which always starts another heated debate. Perhaps I could be accused of stirring slightly but hey, it’s fun!

There is some defence of why Americans do not know as much about the world outside these borders – the majority have never travelled outside them. That is not a dig either, I would say that a majority of Brits have been to more than just countries within the UK, but a considerable percentage would only have been as far as Europe, which is about the same size as the US. There is a huge range of climates and activities here – from snow-capped mountains for skiing, to dry dusty deserts for incredible natural landscapes, to tropical beaches to get your tan on – that it is so much easier and cheaper to take your holiday in the same country that you live in. Honestly, if England had beaches that were pretty much guaranteed gorgeous weather at any given point during the year, I would have happily lounged there all summer instead of wandering further afield in search of the UK’s very own missing link – by which I mean the sun.

I am now going to apologise to my American friends because I know that this may rile up a few people. I know I’m only fuelling the stereotypes of Americans that most of the world believes to be true, and if I’m honest, the majority of Americans that I know are very intelligent, well-travelled, knowledgeable about the outside world, and are not the ones who asked me these questions. But if ignorance is bliss, then it’s more than just Disneyworld that could count as ‘the happiest place on Earth’ :)

P.S. Sorry America, I love you really. I’ll lend you my encyclopedia Britannica.